Mr Heck Static lives in the mountain fastness of Northern Okinawa with a gerbil ("Arnold") and seventeen pet hippos. He writes frequently on cross stitching, fly fishing, fly tipping, fly swatting, fly by nighting and nightingales' breeding habits.

A professional heavyweight boxer and a one-time bouncer at The Heavenly Bar Of Lost Souls, Mr Static takes a keen interest in the doings of the Grim Reaper and is an avid follower of the be-cowled gentleman's activities. Having died several times in the past himself, Mr Static is a recognised authority on the Hereafter and would like to take this opportunity to extend his warmest compliments to all his female readers

Current choices

Frank Bough
Rolf Harris
Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh
Sir George Martin
Ex-Pope Benedict XVI
Nicholas Parsons
Tony Benn


George Martin

Nelson Mandela
"He's finally carked it!"

Edward Upward
"Holy crap, I don't believe it! This is momentous!"

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